


blue

by constant



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Comfort No Hurt, Established Relationship, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, Sick Fic, seungbin basically being cute boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26509732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constant/pseuds/constant
Summary: Seungmin wakes up to a crown of head on the side of his bed. His first thought:Who the hell is this?His second:Why does he smell so good?Or: Due to a disastrous first date, Seungmin falls in sick and is left to mull over the fact that it had been all his fault, his guilt doubling when Changbin appears by his bedside, claiming to be there to take care of his sick boyfriend.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 150
Collections: Seungmin-Centric Ficfest





	blue

**Author's Note:**

> \- prompt #61 of seungfest 2020  
> \- thank u seungfest mod for organizing this event <33  
> 

There’s a silhouette sitting on the edge of Seungmin’s bed. His vision is overcast with hazes of deep slumber and paracetamol side-effects, so it’s hard to tell if it’s just his eyes (and mind) playing tricks on him. Whatever the case, he would have started freaking out if he isn’t so disoriented. He tries to lift himself off the bed but his head alone feels like it’s being pinned down by some weight that he couldn’t do so much as lift it. 

His eyelids also feel heavy. For the next few seconds, Seungmin fights the drowsy feeling off, trying to take a better look at the figure. He thinks he sees _it_ move closer towards him but he’s still not certain about what he’s seeing. Maybe it’s just the side effects of the meds making him hallucinate. 

“Go back to sleep.” 

The voice sounds familiar. It’s deep yet gentle in its own way. _Cool_ . _Comfortable_ . _Blue_ , like the color. The voice sounds cool in his ears, but the feeling it sends in Seungmin’s chest is warm. The only thing that doesn’t sit right with him is hearing it right now - here - in his room, in his bed. Those two things don’t really add up. Perhaps he really _is_ hallucinating. 

“I’ll be right here.” 

Yes. Yes, Seungmin’s hallucinating. It doesn’t take long before he gives in to the dragging weight of his eyelids and he drifts off to sleep once again. 

  
  


Seungmin dreams of a humiliating first date. 

He had it all planned out: He made reservations at the little Italian restaurant Felix always speaks highly of. Seungmin isn’t really a fancy restaurant-goer- there’s just something about the lavish decorations and low lighting which makes him uneasy - but he’s willing to break out of his comfort zone for this very special occasion. 

He has also secured tickets for the hit musical - _The Man Who Laughs._ His boyfriend has mentioned seeing a musical play in passing; Seungmin can’t remember the details of the musical itself but he does remember the way his eyes glistened when he talked about it. Seungmin thought it’d be great to have him pumped up like that again. 

For the final stop, Seungmin is hoping for a riverside stroll. (He always wanted to walk by the river with his significant other - the thought itself makes him giddy. The thought of doing it all with Changbin makes him _even giddier_.) 

He thought, what could go wrong? 

What actually happened: Everything went wrong. 

They arrive at the restaurant only to be told that his reservation didn’t come through. Seungmin tries to argue, but the staff argues back with receipts, almost shoving the monitor screen in his face that there had been, indeed, no reservation under the name ‘Kim Seungmin’. 

“I’m sorry. Let’s just find another place.” Seungmin gives Changbin a hasty look, afraid to see a trace of disappointment in his face. (If he only let his eyes linger for a second, he would have seen that Changbin looks far from disappointed.) 

“Hey, this looks like a nice place!” Changbin, to his credit, has sounded cheerful. He didn't seem as if they just walked a few blocks, trying to find another place to eat. The ‘place’ he was referring to is a convenience store. 

Seungmin must have looked apprehensive because Changbin grabs his wrist - _lightly_ , fingers just curling subtly around his skin - and gives him a warm smile. 

“I heard they serve really good ramyun.” 

“It’s self-service.” Seungmin grumbles, heart slightly wavering at his boyfriend’s soft, steady gaze on him. He adds, “And it’s instant, with preservatives and everything.” 

“Which makes it better. Come on.” 

Seungmin insists on paying, it's the least he could do after the drastic failure with the restaurant reservation. Changbin lets him choose their beverages, saying he'll go right ahead and save them a table. (Even though the store is relatively empty.)

Seungmin spends an awful lot of time in front of the beverage section. After what felt like an entire minute, Seungmin grabs the bottle which seems to be luring him in the most.

As soon as he places the bottle on their table, Changbin gives him a look of mild surprise. 

“How do you know I like Mountain Dew?” 

Seungmin shrugs. “Lucky guess.” He settles down next to him, holding a smile. “Also, I’ve seen you have it a couple of times.” 

Changbin looks up from his bowl, “You did? Where?” 

“Uhm- during council meetings? I think.” 

“Which means you’ve been checking me out a couple of times?” 

Seungmin hums, eyes fixated through the glass wall, out towards the grey blotch in the sky. The thing is, it hasn’t been long since they both made their relationship official. They are on their first date, after all. But they’ve known each other longer than the couple of weeks of their relationship. 

Changbin is the president of their college’s org, so naturally, it's hard not to notice him when he takes up most of the talking for every meeting. 

Seungmin likes the way Changbin carries himself. There’s a fine line between being confident and being arrogant, and Changbin just seems to know where to put himself so as not to cross the borders of the former. He likes his steady gaze and the way he’s the most articulate person Seungmin has ever known. 

There’s also something about his smile. Seungmin couldn’t really explain it. His mother is a dentist, and the first thing she notices in people are their smiles. He had always thought her crazy about it, but after seeing Changbin laughing at the other side of the room that one afternoon, Seungmin kind of gets it. 

Every time Changbin walks into the room, Seungmin's head almost always turns towards his direction, like a magnet drawing him in every time. This is where he remembers the older walking with a Mountain Dew bottle a few times. 

Seungmin says, “It was actually more than that.”

“What?” 

He picks up his chopsticks, flushing at his thoughtless words. “Nothing.” 

  
  


One unfortunate event led to another - they have only taken a few steps from the convenience store when rain started to pour, forcing them to take shelter under the nearest awning they could find. 

Seungmin is suddenly aware of the ticking time. 

_They're gonna miss the musical. It's all gonna be for nothing._

He did not tell Changbin about the musical, and now that they're going to miss it, Seungmin finds no point telling him about it. One good thing about surprises is that the recipient won't have to know in case the plan fails.

It must have been twenty minutes later (probably thirty but Seungmin doesn't want to feel worse), and they're still on the same spot. The rain doesn't look like it would let up and he is already on the verge of crying at that point. 

Changbin has been trying to engage him in light-hearted small talks; Seungmin tries his best to respond as if everything isn't falling apart but he hasn't properly met his boyfriend’s eye since they left the convenience store. 

He's afraid to see the expression on his face. It's impossible for him to not be disappointed now. 

Seungmin is far too lost in his thoughts that he doesn't hear the soft tone of his boyfriend calling out his name. He's only brought out of his daze when he feels warmth wrap around his fingers. Changbin makes sure to aim for his hand this time (not just his wrist) and intertwines his fingers around his. 

"Where are we going?" Seungmin asks, wincing as the first contact of raindrops falls on his skin. He has been so deep in his own thoughts that the sudden action puts him in profound surprise. 

"Just-" Changbin tugs at his hand lightly, pulling him towards the sidewalk, where a few passersby send them weird looks (because it isn't everyday you get to see two grown men trudging through the rain). 

"-here." He finishes, stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk to give his boyfriend a sweet, heart-stopping smile. 

"Here?" Seungmin asks. He can still feel the strange looks around them, but it doesn’t affect him as much as the fact that Changbin still hasn’t let go of his hand. 

“Race you to your apartment?” 

“What?” 

“Come on, it’s only a few blocks from here!” 

“ _What_?” 

Changbin surges a few feet forward, then slows his pace to look back at him, beaming. 

"Loser buys ice cream!" He shouts before speeding off, leaving Seungmin confused, embarrassed, and excited all at the same time. 

He has never dreamed of playing under the rain as an adult - not even as a kid, to be honest - yet here he is. 

_Here they are_ \- skipping, chasing, twirling. 

Skipping on puddles, taking turns chasing each other under the haze of the storm, letting Changbin twirl him as if they’re dancing to a sweet melody they both couldn’t hear. 

The rain lets up just in time for their exhaustion to get the better of them and they mutually decide to head back to Seungmin’s apartment; it isn’t exactly the riverside stroll Seungmin has hoped for. (He most especially did not expect them to get soaked like this.) But it’s good enough - better, even - because Changbin holds his hand the whole way back. 

  
  


The nap is supposed to alleviate the pain in his head, _in every muscle in his body_. Yet when he wakes up, the effects are quite the contrary - Seungmin feels worse. 

His temples are throbbing and it takes all of his strength to roll on his side and finally open his eyes. The first thing he sees is a crown of head on the side of his bed. His first thought: _Who the hell is this?_

His second: _Why does he smell so good?_

Then it hits him all at once. The scent - a mixture of strong perfume and citrus hand sanitizer - triggers the memories of the weekend. 

The dream he had wasn’t a dream. It was two days ago. 

Seungmin came home that day, drenched and exhausted, but with a full heart. 

He gets a sore throat the following day, waking up with a splitting headache and a pinning conscience of ruining their first date. It only took a day for Seungmin to forget the smiles and laughter he had shared with Changbin. That’s kind of the problem - he thought about the date too much to the point that he has started overthinking the events until the happier, better memories have been clouded over by his worries and have been topped with the hallucinating side effects of the medicine he has been taking. 

How is Changbin _here,_ in his room, sitting on the edge of his bed? It doesn't make sense. 

It takes a moment for Seungmin to find his voice. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?" 

"Your mom told me you were sick. She gave me your passcode." Changbin smiles sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind." 

Seungmin stifles a groan. He actually didn’t want his mother to know about his cold but he didn’t trust the internet and the local pharmacist enough with the doses of meds prescribed for him.

"What else did she tell you?” 

Because knowing her mom, he knows she said more than just tip Changbin about his sick son. He hopes it's nothing embarrassing. Seungmin has talked about Changbin to his mother a few times (try: a lot) and he can only wish that she didn't tell him about his gushings.

"That you need someone to take care of you." 

Seungmin actually groans now. In a low voice, he says, "She doesn’t mean _you_ , exactly." 

Changbin pauses, blinks. "You don't need me?" 

“That’s not what I said.” Seungmin adds, “It’s just that-” He gets cut off with a cough. 

Changbin hastily hands him the glass of water on his bedside table. 

"I'm your boyfriend." Changbin says as Seungmin downs the drink. "Let me take care of you." 

"You're my _boyfriend_. Not my personal nurse." 

Changbin shakes his head, smiling. He takes the empty glass from Seungmin's hand, their fingers brushing lightly. It was only for a fleeting moment but he didn't miss to notice how Changbin feels incredibly _warm_. Seungmin starts to long for him all of a sudden, even if he's literally right there in front of him. 

"Just let me take care of you." He repeats. 

“Okay.” He finally gives in, tucking the comforter up to his chin. Changbin watches him with endearment; it makes Seungmin feel giddy inside, but he says, “Stop staring at me like a weirdo.” 

Changbin laughs, “Noted.” 

“Did you really just sit there and- what? Stared into space?" 

"I stared at you too." He quickly adds, "But not like a weirdo." Changbin shrugs, “Got really nothing else to do.” 

Seungmin suddenly yawns, breaking his train of thought he has formed in his mind and is meant to say out loud, but now he doesn't remember what he is supposed to say. He changes the subject, “All this talking has drained my energy.” 

“Do you maybe wanna go to the bathroom?” 

“I’m good. I think I’ll just go back to sleep.” 

Seungmin tries to go back to sleep but his boyfriend’s presence is just _so strong_ that he couldn’t help getting conscious of him for being in the same room. Maybe Seungmin should have asked him to stay in the living room. 

When he opens his eyes a few minutes later, he sees Changbin admiring the pictures on his bedside table. One’s a photo of him at the beach when he was about eight years old. The one in the middle is a family picture last _Chuseok_ , Seungmin and his parents wearing _hanbok_. The last one is Seungmin’s highschool graduation picture. These are the same framed pictures his mom had insisted to keep in his room back home and the ones which Seungmin didn’t expect to bring along with him when he moved out of the house for college. Seeing the photos there by his bedside put him in a good mood every morning. It made him feel at home. 

“Changbin?” 

“Oh-! You’re awake? Do you need anything? Are you all right?” 

Seungmin shakes his head. “I’m fine.” He sits up, heart suddenly racing. 

Seungmin has been lying to himself. It’s not Changbin’s presence which makes it hard for him to get back to sleep. It’s the guilt. Ever since Changbin has showed up here, offering to take care of him, his guilt has doubled. As if the ruined date wasn’t enough, now Changbin’s here to tend to him. 

“I’m sorry about the date.”

“What?” 

Seungmin looks up at him for only a second before dropping his gaze back on the blankets. He’s too scared to look at his face. 

“Minnie, I don’t understand. You’re saying sorry for _the date_?” 

“Yes.” 

“But why? Why are you apologizing?” 

“Because I ruined it. It's our first date, you know? I had this well-thought plan, but I didn’t get any part of it done. I wanted it to be perfect.”

Changbin inches closer towards him, close enough for him to lift Seungmin’s chin and force him to look at him. He says, “It _was_ perfect, Minnie, and it wasn’t just because of what we did, or where we ate but because you were there with me. Because it was you. Because it’s you. At the end of the day, you're the only one who ever matters to me - whether you enjoyed the day as much as I did. That's why when I saw you bummed about the reservation thing, I tried to- oh shit, Minnie. Don’t cry. Don't cry.”

Changbin is by his side in a second, stroking his hair and wiping his tears away. His warmth makes Seungmin only want to cry more. "It’s just the paracetamol making me too emotional.” 

Changbin looks at him for a good second, as if deciding if that was a lie. Then, he closes the remaining distance between them, opening his arms towards the other. 

“Come here.” 

Seungmin doesn’t need to be told twice; he snuggles up in his arms and cries even more on his shoulder. From about a meter away, he smells all citrusy with a dash of strong perfume, but even closer, his detergent soap mixes with all the other scents and he just smells so damn good, Seungmin doesn't ever wanna let him go. 

It reminds him of their first day as a couple. Right after Changbin’s insanely articulate confession, Seungmin had blinked at him dumbly. 

There had been a long tense silence that followed because Seungmin couldn’t seem to formulate a proper response. It’s not because he needed time to think about it (he has been sure about his feelings long before that day), but because Changbin’s confession had been _perfect_ , and Seungmin wanted to top that. But he couldn’t because Changbin’s confession had also been too sudden, rendering him speechless. 

The only words that had come out of his mouth were: “Me too.” 

Changbin had beamed brightly then, the earlier traces of apprehension now lifted off from his features. 

“Me too.” Seungmin repeated, louder, “I like you too.” 

“Can I hug you?” Changbin asked and Seungmin gave him a curt nod. 

He had smelled exactly the same - like citrus and men's perfume and laundry soap. Despite it not being too long ago, a strong nostalgic feeling creeps up on him. 

“I think I’m better now.” Seungmin jokes as he pulls away from the hug. 

To his surprise, Changbin frowns. “Really? Because I was about to offer a cuddle for your medication.” 

Seungmin rolls his eyes, but not with ill-intent. “On second thought, can you get the thermometer? I think the fever’s creeping back.” 

“Or you can just say that you want a cuddle.” 

“Fat chance.” 

Changbin gets on his feet, eyes scanning the room, “Where’s that thermometer?” 

Seungmin chuckles lightly as he watches him go through the mess of stuff on his desk. 

He wasn't lying about finally feeling better.

  
  
  


Changbin whispers in his ear later that night, just before he left, when he thought Seungmin had drifted back to sleep. 

"Good night, Minnie." 

His voice has always sounded _cool_ . _Comfortable_ . _Blue_ , like the color. But the bloom it sends in his chest has always been warm. 


End file.
